Author: alan c Date: To: adam.trickett, Hampshire LUG Discussion List CC: Subject: Re: [Hampshire] I Feel Guilty...!
Adam Trickett wrote: > Hi,
>
> A friend asked me to help him set up his mother-in-laws computer so she could
> read email. I often help friends and family for free but I refuse to touch
> stolen software and I encourage the use of open source software whenever
> practical.
>
> Todays question was how to set up Microsoft Outlook. I said quite honestly
> that I couldn't recommend it in any shape or form, and more importantly I've
> never actually set it up, and only use it at work because I'm forced to.
>
> I now feel guilty for not helping
don't feel guilty, you did him a valuable service by giving a
wellinformed (and courageous) opinion on his aim, from an experienced
view. In a local shop they would continue the bullsh*t, which would
not be a real advantage. He is now thinking 'gosh, he really means
it!' maybe the world *is* round after all?' 'Maybe there is something
in this stuff?'
> he didn't want to install anything else -
He is making a very clear choice, and he is about to take
responsibility for this. I wish him well. But he knows that he will
have to sort out future questions himself, and you are unlikely to. He
will start to think. A benefit. Watch that space.
He is finding the counter-intuitive fact that there *is* support for
open source, but maybe *not* support for windows stuff. Very counter
propaganda. Funny that?
> which I would have offered to help with. He feels that he must use Microsoft
> Outlook as it came with that from Dell and as everyone uses it, it must be
> the best?
Does he eat the rind on bacon or the fat on meat, over burned toast,
etc, does he blindly use everything that is 'given' to him. If someone
gave him drugs would he use them? At what stage does he decide someone
is 'pushing' him?
I would say it must be something to do with the relevant businesses
making money for themselves. From him. As long as he is ok with that ,
that is what will continue. They are businesses and they *do * have to
make money some way dont they?. Nothing wrong there at all.
My problem is that the software is not good quality, and I would also
be *locked* in!
>He trusts me enough to ask for my advice but not enough to actually
> follow through.
Breaking out of the monopoly is hard. He is faced with this being hard
and painful and scary *because* he has accepted the monoplistic
situation, perhaps unwittingly. He is feeling some pain because of
business practices.
> I'd happily give him The OpenCD but I know that wouldn't help either...
Why, could not he or you use thunderbird? Maybe he would not want to.
>By not
> helping I've driven him
Not true really. You are not 'driving' him, you are trying to help him
rise out of the mire and he is refusing to be helped out, and you now
foresee him sinking deeper. It is your prediction, you are not
'driving' him, he is in his own driving seat. A slightly pedantic
analysis of responsibility, but I think true.
> deeper into the Microsoft tar pit, but he really
> doesn't want to be helped out
Not yet, maybe never. However, until he has a need - an eager need
maybe - to try something different, maybe you let that horse drink
when and where it chooses, now you have indicated the water......
>, which I feel bad about as he is a nice chap.
It may take some time. If he thinks badly of you for being an expert
he is not clever, hopefully he will continue to be friends, and think
about your viewpoint.
